


Shared Heartache

by Kalorii



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Turtlecest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 08:05:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3721405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalorii/pseuds/Kalorii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raphael and Michelangelo announced to their brothers that they were in love - with each other. Left by the wayside with unrequited love and jealousy burning in them, Leonardo and Donatello find out that a lack of romance doesn't always mean loneliness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shared Heartache

**Author's Note:**

> This thing would not leave me alone once I got into it. Damn angst.
> 
> This came from a prompt sent by an anonymous user who asked for:
> 
>  
> 
> _Raph and Mikey have just started a relationship and Donnie and Leo feel left out and jealous. Leo was in love with Raph and Donnie with Mikey and now... it's too late._
> 
>  
> 
> I do hope you weren't looking for a hook-up fic because I just couldn't get it out of me for this prompt. Dooomed for the sads, I'm afraid. :/ Hope you enjoy anyway!

The past week had been weird, even for a group of mutant turtles. They'd always had a special dynamic between them but now it'd been flipped unexpectedly.

Leonardo could remember the conversation right down to the last motion made. It'd been something talked about without Master Splinter's guidance or knowledge and it would likely stay that way for as long as possible. How could you possibly tell your father and sensei that two of your brothers now had more than brotherly feelings for one another?

He really wasn't one to talk, however. He was no different with the feelings he held in his heart. Yet that meant nothing now, it meant even less than nothing in the light of Raph and Mikey's announcement that they were together.

Mikey. Raph. _Together_.

It was still difficult to comprehend and he'd felt completely blindsided by the declaration. Leo couldn't even imagine what had gone on behind his back to lead to this. How did they manage to hide the kissing and whatever else they got up to?

It'd taken a few days but Leo finally had to admit that he was jealous of Mikey and what he'd so easily gotten. However, it wasn't himself that he was worried about, it was Donatello. It was as if a switch had been turned on - or off, depending on Donnie's mood. Though he was always a bit prickly about anything to do with relationships, now he was either indifferent or dripping with toxic sarcasm and biting retorts.

Leo noticed a familiar form entering Donnie's lab before he was close. There was the sound of shock and a slight laugh which caught his attention. Curiosity getting the better of him, he quietly closed the distance and leaned near the open door.

"I was just -"

Raph's voice. He was quickly cut off by Donnie.

"You were just sneaking in here looking for the one thing you've been taking from me for the past month."

There was a rummaging sound and then something was put down hard on Donatello's desk. He knew he shouldn't be but he was curious as to what it was because Raphael said nothing. There was absolute, complete silence broken only by the usual sounds that they were all used to living down in the sewers.

It felt like it stretched on forever before Donnie sighed heavily. "Get your own next time. I sure didn't get it for you to enjoy."

The sound of something being tossed was heard and Raph obviously caught it. He laughed roughly and Leo could hear whatever it was being tossed up in his hands. "I'd apologize but it's not my fault that I've got someone sharing my bed and you don't. Thanks for another night."

Leonardo shifted to hide against the wall though that was a very weak hiding spot. Raph only had eyes for the tube that he tossed in his hands, a very satisfied smirk on his lips. It only took one guess as to what was in the tube and what he'd be doing with it. The knowledge made him feel nothing but jealous, a heavy ache settling in his chest.

As usual, he forced it aside as he turned to Donnie's lab. He knocked on the door, peeking in to see Donnie staring at his computer. "Mind if I come in?" he offered, just to show that it wasn't Raph again.

It seemed to do the trick as his brother nodded. Leo entered and pulled the door closed to shut out the sounds and to keep other sounds in with them. They didn't need to be interrupted while they talked things out. Maybe he could even find the courage to be completely honest if they managed to talk about it in the open.

"I'm guessing you heard that little exchange," Donnie said after a moment, moving to type something on his computer. "I'm not apologizing, either. He and Mikey can do what they want as long as they don't involve me in it."

He sounded bitter and defeated, enough to make Leo get closer and sit on the edge of a table. Don even _looked_ defeated which made Leo wonder if he looked the same way at this point. "I'm not here to make you apologize. Raph shouldn't be taking anything from you without asking for it first."

Donnie let out a sharp laugh as he finished typing then pushed his office chair over to the table Leo was sitting on. He unplugged the thing he'd been working on from his computer and looked it over before setting it into a casing. "That'll be the day."

Silence fell over them but he felt like there were many things unsaid. Normally Leo was determined to keep true to himself but he'd barely been able to do that lately. Meditating didn't work and everything that was going on couldn't be talked about with Splinter. In the end, they only had each other and he'd feel very lonely without at least one brother to talk to.

"You loved Raph, didn't you."

The statement caught the usually stoic leader off guard and he turned sharply to look at Donnie. He was still setting up whatever electronic he'd been working on with the same stony face as before. Eventually he turned his eyes up to Leo, not smiling or frowning, just looking at him neutrally as if he'd said something that wasn't important.

A small smile did eventually tug at his brother's lips though, a sad one which made him avert his eyes. "I could tell. You've been wanting Raph for a long time, Leo. You should have told him sooner."

"I couldn't do that, Donnie," Leo protested quickly. "What was I supposed to say to him? He's my brother and I love him but I thought he'd hate me for it. Just like he's hated me for a lot of things I do."

"He doesn't hate you, he just doesn't know how to express himself," Don said, shaking his head. Now he frowned, grabbing a screwdriver and starting to put the board into place properly. "I guess I _am_ one to talk. April chose Casey over me and now Mikey's chosen Raph instead of me."

What? Leo shook his head, leaning in a little but trying not to invade his brother's space. "You love Mikey?"

Donatello nodded mutely, slowly dropping his screwdriver. He closed his eyes and hunched down, once more giving off the same defeated feeling he'd done when Leo had come in earlier. April's choice had hurt his brother enough but now he'd been all but rejected by his own brother. Though that wasn't exactly true as Mikey likely hadn't a clue that Don was pining for him.

Leo put a hand on his brother's shell, seeing a shiver go through him. "Maybe I'm just meant to be alone," Donnie muttered lowly, bringing his arms up and folding them to rest his head on them like a pillow. "I'm not even good at trying to court a human let alone my own species."

It hurt to hear but there was no doubt in Leonardo's mind that he felt the same way deep down. His efforts with Karai had been short lived but he'd felt so much for her but they couldn't be together. She was the biological daughter of their father and she deserved a normal life. Leo wasn't going to be the one to take that right from her, not now. So many things had happened and years had passed, hearts changed.

He leaped from the table and put his hands on Donnie's shoulders. "You're not meant to be alone, Donnie."

"Please. Don't say it, Leo." Don looked up, his eyes holding something that Leo couldn't even begin to read. Pain was most of it and he knew exactly the kind of pain that his brother was feeling. "I don't feel that way for you and I know you don't feel that way for me."

"Time changes a lot of things."

Yet he knew exactly what Donatello was saying. He didn't want to transfer his affections to someone else only to have it come crashing down around him again. Everything was far too raw and so close to the surface. They both had themselves to blame for their failed attempts at relationships but it was just cruel fate that punished them in the worst of ways. Those they loved would now be in plain sight all the time, showing what they had and inadvertently rubbing their beaks in it. Raph would probably get a kick out of getting a rise out of them but Mikey would likely put a stop to it quickly. He hoped.

Donnie had lowered his head again and Leo was sure that he was one step away from breaking down. He couldn't be alone right now. If Leo was to be honest with himself, he didn't think he wanted to be alone, either.

"Come on. You need some rest, Donnie. Get up and let's go to bed, okay?"

His brother moved sluggishly, as though every movement was harder than it should be. Leo was glad that he'd caught Donnie this night to prevent the heartache seep in permanently. They made their way slowly to Don's bedroom, both of them slipping off their gear. It wasn't until Leo made certain the door was closed properly that the other turtle looked at his leader in confusion.

Donnie shook his head, standing beside his bed which was barely used and showed it. He pulled back the thick blanket on top but didn't get into the bed. "What are you doing, Leo? You should go to bed."

"I am," he said, climbing into the bed then motioning for Don to join him.

As he expected, his brother hesitated. Maybe he was expecting Leo to try and initiate something, a thought which made Leo smile softly. Donnie had a point that neither of them felt that way for one another. Perhaps they never would be able to move past the pain of losing the ones they did love but he refused to give up. There was more than one way for them to fight off the loneliness.

When Donnie still refused to get into bed, Leonardo let out a soft sigh. "We're still brothers, Donnie. I know it's been a long time since we shared a bed and we're two turtles short. We don't want to be alone right now because being alone lets us think too much." He looked up at his brother, trying to smile a little. "We've still got each other, even if it's not in the way we want."

Don swallowed and averted his gaze for a moment, anguishing over something before he finally gave in. He covered them both but didn't reach for the light he'd left on. The eyes that looked at Leo now said everything that words couldn't. Of them both, Donnie had taken it the hardest. He normally told no one, hiding it under biting sarcasm and even anger that had the potential to rival Raphael's. He was vulnerable now, taking the choice Mikey had made personally regardless of how irrational it was.

Leo reached over and turned off the light, not moving but putting a gentle hand on Donnie's shoulder. Eventually the other pulled closer, sighing shakily as he pressed up against his brother. He didn't call attention to the tears that started falling or the muted sniffling. They both still had their pride regardless of how battered it was.

They'd both fallen asleep at some point, only being awoken by the diligent alarm that Leo set on his T-phone. He let it run its course even though they were both awake and still tangled in each other's arms like they'd done as kids. Neither moved or said anything, ignoring the knocking that they heard in the distance, likely on Leo's door.

It was Donnie who got up first, his weary gaze sweeping his room for his gear. "I don't want them thinking we did anything. They don't deserve that satisfaction."

"We're not being vindictive, Donnie," Leo said plainly, finally easing himself out of bed as well.

"It's not being vindictive. I get enough from Raph as it is without him thinking that I ran to you and begged you for a taste of what he has."

Unable to say anything in response to that, Leonardo started putting on his gear as well. He turned and watched as his brother put on his mask which only barely hid the telltale signs of crying. It did nothing to hide the hurt he was still holding onto but that would only be taken away in time.

Leo was surprised to be pulled into a hug that he returned, looking up at his brother with a soft smile. "You go out there first and distract them. I'll say that I was out on an early morning walk by myself." For all they knew, it wasn't a lie. He'd taken to doing such things since learning of Raph and Mikey's relationship for obvious reasons. Sometimes he just didn't want to be in the same place when they were being cuddly with one another.

"Right," Donnie said with a heavy sigh. It felt like he reluctantly turned to his door, putting his hand on the handle but not turning it. Instead he looked over at Leo, a sad smile on his lips. "Thanks. You know, for understanding."

"That's what brothers are for," Leo replied, hearing a breathless laugh in response to that.

Donnie went out the door, leaving it open as he called to Mikey who was shouting for him. He heard them grouse at each other and even Mikey's concern as he noticed Donatello's weary eyes. There was the quick excuse of pulling an all-nighter which caught Raph's attention at last.

Knowing he had to act fast, Leo darted out of his brother's room and then made it look like he was just entering the lair. Raph rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. It was hard not to admire his form even though Leo knew that was all he could do. He could look but couldn't touch, never letting on that his heart was still pining for this hothead in front of him.

"Nice of you to join us, fearless leader. That _is_ what you still are, right? Usually you're the one who's in there half way through the katas by now."

It was almost second nature to fall into irritation. "Last I checked, I was still the one in charge of that, yes. Since you decided that wandering was a better idea than grabbing breakfast before training, we're all going to the dojo now." Turning to the dojo's entrance, he ignored the groans from behind him, quite sure that Don's wasn't as sincere as the others'. "We'll break for lunch after training."

They filed past him, Donnie pausing to give Leo a thankful smile. No, they couldn't be vindictive but they could take the wind out of their sails now and then. They both had a long road ahead of them to accept the new life they'd been given. He wouldn't go down that path with preconceived notions of loving Donatello as more than his brother. Neither would be happy if they tried to force it that way.

He bowed to Splinter as he followed his brothers into the dojo. Life would continue and he wasn't alone. Unrequited love didn't always mean a lifetime of pain and Leonardo wasn't going to give up nor would he let Donnie give into it.

Days later, Donnie would express frustration at the feeling of regression. He clarified he felt like they'd taken several steps backwards, falling back into the old habits of their younger selves. Even though he complained, he would visit Leo's room for a night now and then. They spoke a lot more, started understanding one another a lot better which was becoming more obvious to their brothers and sensei. Both said that they needed to stick together.

In the end, they'd always have each other to lean on for better or worse.


End file.
